I am Holden Caulfield.

I'm in such a weird place right now. Going off to college is doing nothing for my mood. Everything is so strange. I'm finding myself in one of those places where I relate to Holden Caulfield and Harold from "Harold and Maude". One of those places where everything is great one minute and then you're depressed as hell the next. It's so frustrating. I don't enjoy feeling this way at all. I feel like part of it might have something to do with the fact that I'm reading "Catcher in the Rye" right now, but I have always related to Holden; this isn't anything new. I think I relate to Harold because he doesn't really know how to live. These past eighteen years of my life have been a farse of what I thought was living but it actually isn't. I don't know how to actually live on my own! How scary is that? I've just been feeling so confused lately. I feel like I've been split up into three people: one person wants to stay home and hang on to the last shred of comfort she knows; the other person wants to move and discover new adventures and grow and mature; and then the third person is standing in the middle, not sure what the hell is going on. I was talking to a friend who's going to be a senior about how weird the summer after your senior year is. I told her the only way you can describe it is a orb of emotion and you're drowning in...

Sorry that's really depressing.

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